Sincerely, Jodie.

Mind <> Heart

I’ve become almost too accustomed to disappointment. Someone lies and someone just does things they said they would never do. All too often I find myself quiet when it comes to speaking up against things I don’t believe in. I’m disappointed in myself for still falling weak, when I am expected to be strong this late in my life. I know right from wrong, left from right, North from South. I’d say I am mature when I want to be and immature when the time is appropriate. But one of my biggest flaws is not knowing when to say something to someone.

It is important to be able to actually talk about expectations with friends, family, or boyfriend or girlfriend. Usually, you will figure out ways to tune your expectations so that neither of you are trying to live up to something that is impossible. And I think it’s okay to expectations. Everyone does. The only thing is, the expectations need to be achievable or we will have a sense of disappointment and be tempted to call it quits with any type of relationship.

I should really listen to my own advice or at least remember that I have this figured out. I’m just so accustomed to being satisfied with disappointment and lowering my expectations. Someday I hope to remember to think with both my mind and my heart in a situation.

A Jodie Definition.

Potential.

This word could mean many different things. Some might think it means you are able to be something great, others might think you are simply blessed to have this attribute and ignore the fact that they also have potential.

Everyone has potential, whether they are better at succeeding than others is another, separate trait. Human potential has been explored since the beginning of mankind and is still not completely understood. Potential is discovering what makes something/someone noticeable in others eyes.

Humankind was given the capacity for unlimited mental processes, and as a result, we are custodians of this planet, and responsible for the advancement of our species. In order for humanity to evolve to the next level necessary to create a more peaceful and unified society, each individual must tap into the center of their potential and achieve a level of self-realization and improvement, which is the ultimate key to creating a better world.

My advice? Be someone that draws out the potential from others to make them the best people they could possibly be.

If I Created a Time Machine…

If I could go back in time there are many moments in my life that I want to change for the better.

I grew up well, I was spoiled and I loved it. If I could, I would go back in time and change it. I would make it to where I was grateful every time I got a new toy or someone gave me something. Being spoiled as a kid, made me not appreciate some things that I own right now. As a kid, I didn’t realize the work my parents put in for me to be able to get all this stuff. And if I didn’t have so much “stuff”, I’d probably be more thankful for the little things that matter the most. “Stuff”, or earthly possessions, won’t make it to heaven with me anyways. So they really mean nothing.

Another thing I would have changed about my childhood, was my attitude. I was taught in church and school that we all are equal. In a way, I disagree with this statement. I understand that all races of people are equal, but I convinced myself that this statement also had to do with parents. I told myself that my parents were no better than me, and that I am my own person and they really don’t have control of me. I was so mean to my family. I was always disrespectful, and I wish I could have treated them better. Because today, I think they still believe that I feel that way and they don’t understand that I figured it out.

My parents did do something for me that I still have to tell myself is worth it. They made me such an involved person. They made me play softball, basketball, soccer, swim, jump horses, ice skate, play instruments, be in all the church plays, and they made me get good grades. At times, I’m so stressed out with everything that I am involved with now, but I tell myself that it is always worth it. I would keep this the same.

List of things to change with my time machine:

• I would still be ice skating.
• I would still ride my horse.
• I would still know how to play my guitar or cello.
• I would have thought before I spoke to adults.
• I would have kept in touch with the people that could’ve changed my life.
• I would have not picked so many obvious fights.
• I would have said the right things.
• I would have not put myself through something that made me confused about my relationship with God.
• I would not be a disappointment to my family.
• I would save my best friends from their mistakes.
• I would not fight with my sister.
• I would make the best of things when I feel so broken…

I know I can’t change these things, but it nice to realize how many things went wrong in my life so far. I just don’t want to screw it up anymore than I think I have. God grant me the knowledge to know how to live the rest of my life for you.

College Bound.?

To all of you that keep asking… “Do you know where you are going to college yet?”

NO!

Please stop asking.

I will tell you when I know.

I’ve been accepted to six different colleges, all with great academic scholarships, and I am still waiting to hear from the medical school I applied to. I want to play softball and have had a few offers.

I don’t know what has been holding me back. I guess I just don’t want to throw my life away to a college already. Wherever I pick to go, I’ll have to go there for the next three or four years. That’s scary, and I don’t have my life planned out that precisely yet. I know what I want to happen, but something always seems to change my mind and get in the way. I’m afraid to get my hopes up and get them crushed again. I guess that’s why I have been going half-speed for everything I do.

People say college will be the time of my life, but that’s what they said about high school. High school has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. I flew by elementary school and middle school, with no struggle.

There were many ups and downs (cliche) but I can say without a doubt, these were not the best moments of my life. High school is full of teenagers. Teenagers tend to screw things up by either smoking, drinking, or having sex. Therefore, high school is full of all these bad influences. One by one, we walk in and out of the doors to this institution, tellings ourselves that we are “growing up.” Honestly? We are “grown up” when we don’t have to keep reminding ourselves that it is okay or not okay to do something. We are “grown up” when we have jobs and provide for ourself and a family. We are “grown up” when we are not uncertain about what we want in our lives. High school is not the time to say we are “grown up.”

Physically we will be fully grown by the end of high school. But mentally growing up means to become fully aware of your possibilities, your limits, your resources, your situation in comparison to others, your goals and your responsibilities.

Me? Oh, I want to be older and a few more months mature before I decide to hand a college the next few years of my life.

Why This is My Favorite Time of Year

Wintertime has a specific and special touch on my personality as a whole. When it comes down to it, my favorite part about the holiday season is the feeling of family and friendship within everyone.

Christmas is by far the best holiday in my opinion. It’s when we celebrate the birth of our Savior and we give generously. Although, those two things are exactly what I seek to do everyday, it’s nice to see others trying to do the same. I think people at least attempt to be better people during the holidays and that’s good enough for me. And unlike most humans on the planet, I love the cold. I love snow. I love an old fashioned fire with hot cocoa. And I love christmas romance movies that play throughout December. Not to mention, it is the perfect time of year to fantasize about your dream guy or love on the guy you have. Being single n’ all, I love to think about those cliché ice skating dates, or the ones where you snuggle up in the cold with that special someone. Sigh* all I know is if you want to get to a woman’s heart, be romantic, do it near the holidays in the chilling weather.

My introspection of the holidays may not be quite universal, so I feel obligated to share the opposing side, or why people don’t like it. One, they don’t like the cold or being forced to wear sweaters and coats (specifically, girls that get static in their hair and clothes) . Two, they feel people become uncontrollable in shopping centers and they do not like buying gifts. Three, they hate gathering with their despicable families (that’s a whole other topic, ‘cause I mean most likely you are just like the people who raised you..). Four, you are just plain SCROOGE!

I mean seriously, you are bonkers if you don’t like this time of year. The good outweighs the bad; count your blessings.

A Flaw, or a Plan?

It’s unfortunate that God made the human race in such ways that if we do one thing wrong, the direction of our lives change. We can spend our whole lives learning and morphing into the adults that we want to be. But when we finally think we have mastered one aspect in the extent of our existence, we become emotionally injured with failure.
Believe it or not, I feel like I have failed at life already. I don’t know what God wants to do with me or if he ever will need me. I am growing impatient and unable to stand the sense of being alone. Don’t get me wrong; I still have faith that good things will happen if I keep his word, but I’m clueless about what he wants to do with me in the future.
People go through their lives planning their wedding, or things like their future children’s names, or what age they will buy their own house. Well, that’s not me. I have tried doing that before and it just left me disappointed. Things change, people change, and I have changed so much. Maybe when certain people come into my life that’s when I’ll figure it out. I don’t know if it’s possible to plan or to have my own plans anymore, when God has his own plans for me. Does that make me a procrastinator or unorganized? I don’t know, but I will find out.

How Do You Know?

Hypocrite: a person who pretends to have virtues, morals or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess.

Everyone seems to believe they are not hypocrites. But honestly, I think everyone is an actor at one point in their life. Not one person can truthfully come up to me and say they have never been a hypocrite or deceitful. We walk around these hallways as if we are one person and when we leave out the doors to this establishment, we transform into a human being that lives outside of the status quo. I can genuinely say that I will not say the same things to the same people away from this school. Does that make me a hypocrite? I do not know.

The public relies on what they hear, and this constitutes who they trust. As a whole, we can’t and won’t be lied to. But so many times humanity doesn’t realize that they are lying. I tell my friends what I know about certain situations, so when they figure out that I heard about a circumstance completely wrong, they point the finger at me. There is a difference in telling what you know and lying. I try extremely hard to keep the commandments, so it’s not like I would lie to someone purposefully. And thats the same with gossip. Gossip goes against the word. I don’t talk bad about people. I know how it feels when you have no clue that the high school population has heard one thing and no one could confront another to get the truth. Talking about something that happened with a friend or acquaintance to another isn’t bad. Having different beliefs from person to person is bad, and that brings me back to hypocrisy.

See how I created a big circle? That’s how life is in high school, a big circle of unexpected twists and turns that never disappears. But if we are lucky, we will get old and forget the unwanted memories of our high school days.

Hopefully.

The END, of the road

Day ten, walked around all morning looking for a story in Louisville. It took way longer than it should have, because Davis finally settled with my first suggestion and went to the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory.

Davis was instantly excited when he saw the hundred foot bat outside of the building. Not even a minute after we entered the building we found our character and we were set. This place was one of the funnest stories I have done so far :)

Unfortunately, I am back on the bus again. But at least this is my last time! ‘Cause we are headed home!!

This trip was awesome and it was a great experience, but it’s time for me to start at least getting the minimum amount of sleep a teenager needs again.

I’ll probably blog tomorrow…it’s become a habit.

Louisville…

Day nine, and I’m ready to go home. I fell asleep last night with my jean shorts on and my phone plastered to my hand. Nobody woke me up to take a shower either. Oh well, I got right on the bus and edited the whole way on the bus.

Lunch was pretty awesome though. Davis’ has some pretty cool friends and they let us swim in their pool and they also cooked us a wonderful meal. 

When we actually made it to Louisville, KY we went out to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe and and from then on…it was a crazy night. But I won’t bore you with the details. I’ll just tell you about one major thing.

This hotel has had the meanest workers that I have ever stayed at. And I’ve stayed at many hotels. I went downstairs to get a key, because someone closed the door to our room and the lady at the front desk wouldn’t give me a key because she was having to move someone on our floor because of a noise compliant. First of all, you can’t just judge me. Second of all, it wasn’t even me or the people in my room. All I’m saying is that she at least could have been respectful.

And to top it all off, when we got upstairs, the man that was moving rooms came out as we passed and cussed at us. He told us to get the eff in our room. Dude, you’re mature, you just told of a High school girl.

Gatlinburg, The Copycat Branson.

Day eight, got on the bus at seven am. Tried to sleep the whole 5 hours to Gatlinburg, but there’s only so many different positions that you can switch to after you get uncomfortable. I even resorted to my feet above my head.

I kind of was disappointed when we got to Gatlinburg, TN because it literally was like a Branson. I saw six old time photo places. And everything was a tourist trap.

I had a story with Paulina today and Tyler helped us a lot. We went around and saw how many free samples we could get. I eventually counted about 27 samples. Whoa. Gatlinburg is a generous place!

I ended my day with a nice walk in the river with Sarah, Kenzie, and Adam. I cut up my toes, but it was worth it. Then, the guys all came to our room and played their guitars. Now, time to sleep! Goodnight!!

We love to leave things behind in Charleston!

Day Seven, slept past my alarm again but just decided to drink some coffee and eat a bowl of little doughnuts from the oh-so-great complimentary breakfast! And I didn’t think Paige would want to miss such a great start to her day, so I got her some frosted flakes and a glass of skim milk. (That is all they had left by that time.)

I wasn’t assigned to do something today, for the first time on the whole trip, and I decided to spend it shopping! So, my mother, Kim, Mariah, and I all went together. But when we got off the trolly, Mariah looked around and realized she didn’t have her purse anymore. She had left it on the free trolly ride. So we call the rest of the group at the hotel, they wait for the next trolly, and luckily theres her purse right where we said it should be. So we got it and went shopping.

We all found really nice stuff, Kim even bought a seven dollar magnet that was of a dog. (hmmm.?) Is it worth it Kim?

Then we all went to dinner, but they were serving boiled peanuts. And my dear friend Kenzie is highly allergic, so Sarah and I went with her to this Bar-B-Q place and had a nice meal.

When we came back to the hotel, I realized I didn’t have my new little floral hammer my mother bought me because I fell in love with it…so I was freaking out and called the Bar-B-Q place and told them I forgot something, they immediately asked if it was a floral hammer and laughed at me. I was so embarrassed, but I really wanted that thing and so I made my mom take a cab with me. The guy was standing outside smoking and leaning against the building. Right when we pulled up he stood up and grabbed the hammer out of his back pocket, it was kind of sketchy looking. But it was my hammer! And I got it back and I am very happy.

So yeah, today was a day filled with forgetfulness and worrying. But at least it all ended up good.